Ivy (ivy_rat) wrote,
Ivy
ivy_rat

Thanksgiving

Today Scott and I spent most of the day in LA. This year, mostly in order to see Hamilton, we bought season tickets for the Pantages. Tonight was our first show. Well, actually last week was, but we were in San Francisco that Wednesday so we changed it to tonight. Because we were afraid of holiday traffic we decided to get to LA very early. So early in fact, that we had time to see a movie first!

So we saw Moana, which I expected to love and was not disappointed! Music was great, story was formulaic but I didn't mind. And hey, she had TWO parents! How often is that true in Disney movies?!

Then we saw Hedwig and the Angry Inch. It was pretty amazing. I was concerned that I hadn't seen a warning anywhere about strobe lights, which is not good. But outside of that, the show rocked (pun intended)!

It's hours later. I should be asleep, but instead I'm soaking in a tub and writing this.

The thing is, besides two wonderful and very different pieces of entertainment (and meeting cool people at the theatre), most of my day has been spent on the phone with my eldest daughter who is very sad. I love my daughter. I think she's awesome. She's so creative, and smart, and funny, and kind. But sometimes her friends give up on her (this has also happened to her sister, and me—I can tell you from experience, it hurts). It happened in college when two friends just decided, well whatever it was that they decided, and stopped being her friends. It took her years of therapy to get over her favorite people deciding that they no longer wanted her in their lives. She can be needy. I get that. But she's working on it. She's more than worth the effort.

But now another friend is putting her through a similar ordeal. Because of this, she's afraid to spend time with any of her other friends now, for fear that she will get upset and lose them too. So everyday she's called me and we've spoken for hours. She's lonely and hurt, and she is not coming home for Thanksgiving.

And I'm laying in a tub crying about the fact that my beautiful daughter that I love so much is feeling useless and wants to give up on everything because she's afraid of getting hurt again. And I can't help, because her mom telling her she has worth does not mean as much as a friend telling her that.

And I know today (since it's almost 3am) is supposed to be about giving thanks, but usually, what I'm most thankful for is having my family around, and they're not all around this year. I miss my girls. I'm scared for them in so many ways, especially with our new president. And I'm powerless. And sitting in a tub, crying at 3am, after an amazing day of theatre.

So, do me a favor? Tell someone that they are worthy and loved today.

I thank you all for being there for me when I need you. Let's all be there for each other.

I'm gonna get out of the tub now. I'll have Scott read this when he wakes up, and help me decide if I should post it or not (if you are reading this, then he must have said yes).

Happy Thanksgiving
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